Ever look at your kid and think… or say… “You can do better than this”?

You need to know they simply can’t. It’s not possible.

They are doing their best

I can say this confidently because the truth is that we are all doing the best we can in every moment. Maybe it isn’t especially good sometimes, but it is the best we have to offer in those moments.

Our best is relative

We are each complicated, emotional masses of reactions and complexes. We have limitations and weaknesses. We get tired and cranky. And we don’t always take time to think before we act, assuming we’ll even recognize a bad decision if we do think. Sometimes that all converges in behaviors that look pretty questionable to other people. But it all makes sense to us in the moment, which is why we’re acting that way. Right?

It didn’t seem stupid to me

When was the last time you woke up and said to yourself, “I’m going to make terrible decisions and screw up my life today”? No one does that. But we all occasionally make bad decisions and screw up our lives. And it probably looks stupid to onlookers, but we only see it ourselves in hindsight.

Well, the same is true for your kid. Even when you think they must be capable of doing so much better; the truth is, they really aren’t. At least not yet.

Their best will improve

Your guidance, love, attention, and support can definitely make a difference in their ability to produce better results. No different than giving additional tools to a carpenter. And of course, they are learning as they grow.

So cut them some slack. They aren’t trying to ruin their life or yours. They are actually trying their best, even when that isn’t very good. And with your understanding and help, they will be able to do a little better each day.