Here’s how I define the successful practice of gratitude: appreciating what you have while you still have it.

Everyone tends to be able to appreciate what they had—after it’s gone. But it’s a bit harder for many of us to really appreciate things while they’re still in our lives.

I suppose that’s because we can always find things wrong with what’s in front of us. We can tell ourselves it’s impossible to be appreciative of something so flawed. We can be comfortable being critical because whatever we’re taking for granted will be there tomorrow. And hopefully it will be a more-perfect version that we will be able to fully appreciate. In the meantime, we just shake our heads and complain.

Reframe the situation

The next time you trip over your son’s backpack—that you told him a million times not to leave on the floor—stop yourself. Imagine what it would be like if you never had to see that backpack there again, because your son isn’t around to leave it there.

Suddenly the backpack doesn’t seem like a problem, right? Maybe you’d even find yourself appreciating the fact that it’s  sitting there because it means your son is ok.

Gratitude is easy when they’re gone

That’s exactly how people describe feeling after they lose someone. They miss all the little, everyday things that were unique to their loved one. And that includes all that person’s supposedly annoying “flaws” that used to be the object of criticism.

You’d give anything to be able to clean up after your husband again, or hear your daughter slam the screen door on her way in from school. To be interrupted during dinner by a phone call from your dad. You suddenly wouldn’t mind that your wife liked to move the furniture around or your brother tended to get your kids all riled up right before bed.

Once they’re gone, you’ll find all those complaint-worthy things an endearing representation of the whole, flawed, wonderful person you loved.

Unfortunately, for most of the days when they’re actually around to hear you; you just point out all the things you don’t like.

After you lose someone, you wish you could tell them how much you appreciate them. But by then it’s too late.

Don’t take tomorrow for granted

As you go through your day, notice all the things you love. Notice the people you love. Notice that you love.

Remember that nothing in this world is perfect or ever will be—including you. Remember to appreciate that you have people you love in your life. And don’t allow a habit of focusing on what’s wrong to diminish your appreciation of all that’s right.

There’s no guarantee that you or anyone else will be around tomorrow.

So don’t put off all the appreciation you could be enjoying today.