Everyone sometimes says and does things that hurt other people—usually the people we love most. It’s an unfortunate part of being human. And it makes the ability to offer a real apology a necessary skill for maintaining healthy relationships.

Each time we hurt someone, it’s like driving a nail into a board. We’ve created a wound that changes the wood forever.

The power of apology

A good apology can pull out that nail. That helps the person justify keeping us close enough that we could potentially hurt them again. (We also need to learn how to stop driving in new nails, because the holes will always remain. But that’s a much bigger project than offering a good apology.)

Sadly, not everyone apologizes. Some people don’t do it at all, and some don’t do it well. And that’s a huge tragedy, because the pain from the original hurt could be lessened with a few carefully chosen words—if the person who caused the damage had the courage to say them.

When a parent apologizes, it helps restore a child’s faith in their lovabilty and importance. It helps them see the world as just and benevolent—a safe place to be vulnerable. It aso teaches them how to repair the damage when they are the one who hurt someone they love. And let’s face it, the world could use a whole lot more people who are good at that!

So what makes for a good apology? Check out this quick how-to video for tips…